Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
