The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize