i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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