He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
