Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
