they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
my poor anus
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
