I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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