On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
