Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
