your room smells of hookers.
And success
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
