Whod you bang
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I should be sponsored by Trojan
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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