He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
