there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
