He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
