i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
