id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
