Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
