I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
