it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
