He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
