Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
