me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
