I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
