school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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