I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
