anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
