It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
