Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
