why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
