i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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