Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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