it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
