you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
