so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
