Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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