Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The struggles of a small town man whore
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
