True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
