That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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