I murdered the dance floor call the cops
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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