he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
