i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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