they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
