I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We left an ass print on the piano.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Randomize
