Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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