when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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