I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
