Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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