I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
