He uses pillows to masturbate.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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