let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
