he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I could have mohawked her pubes.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
