just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
