I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
