she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
